Every night I spend way too much time browsing Youtube. I validate this ritual by insisting that I spend my time productively, watching content that will help me grow. Tonight I did just that
Anytime I watch a video by Matt D'Avella, I'm inspired. Tonight, I felt especially moved by the title of his most recent video, Too Much of a Good Thing. My takeaway may have been a bit different than the message he was converting, nevertheless it forced me to think.
Between the months of May of 2017, and June of 2018, I traveled for 9 months. Two of those months in Peru, and another 7 spent predominantly in Spain. This was everything I wanted, everything I had dreamed about for years. I wanted to take pictures, to write; but, I found myself uninspired and tired by the time I reached the end of my stay in Europe.
Don't get me wrong, I loved Europe. I'm so thankful for the people I met, the stories I heard, and the memories I made- but I was tired.
I wrote less than I wanted to. I took less photos for fear of being robbed again (story to come). I let energy that could have been projected towards the career I aspire to build. I can't say I'm completely refueled yet; but, I can say I have regained my determination.
I want to live a life of mindfulness. One in which I can balance my emotions, as well as my time efficiently.
Too much of a good thing drained me. I had so much to do constantly, so much to see, people to meet with, school and work, and so much to worry about (again, post-robbery) ... that I didn't have time to be. I didn't have time to become bored enough that creativity would be sparked. My photos became more and more basic, my writing suffered, and most damagingly, my mind ached. I came home wanting nothing more than to sleep and be alone after spending months exploring a continent with insanely lovely people.
From having too much of a good thing, I learned balance. I'm yet to find balance in my life, but I know that it's just around the corner. With graduation approaching and knowing myself better, I know that I'm well on my way towards mindful living.